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Tag Archives: inspiration

Gettin out of that FUNK

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OK I am going to let you in on a little secret – sometimes my life isn’t all liquorice and lollipops and occasionally sh%t hits the fan. I had one of those days yesterday where I was just off. I couldn’t seem to shake it (yes I tried) off. No amount of affirmations, positive thoughts or meditation could get it off me. It was just there, like a green slimy sludge, and it was growing as the day went on. It was this uncomfortable anxious whirlwind circling around me – it was my ego telling me that I finally am getting the message “this is all just make believe and it is never going to happen” and so after countless hours of fighting the feeling and trying to remove it, I took a deep breath and realized I needed to surrender and embrace it.

Yes embrace it – fear was ruling me yesterday and most likely it was coming up because I had such a powerful day on Monday. My red hazard lights were going off like there was going to be a nuclear meltdown. So I decided instead to have a little chat with myself – a pep talk to my fear and it went a little something like this ” sister, I know you are scared sh&tless of what you are creating in your life right now, it takes courage to own your truth and build a life around it but its ok, we are going to be ok, in fact we are going to be amazing. I know you are just watching out for me and I am so grateful but we can’t stay small anymore, we are planting big seeds right now, seeds that are going to grow beyond our wildest dreams, so please don’t try to get in my way, please let me spread my wings a little bigger each and every day”

We are all going to have those days when you just feel off, you feel overwhelmed, you feel stretched, you question what is going on with your life and you just feel flat out funky.  Well not to worry or give up faith, just embrace those feelings of muckyness and get on with it. Allow yourself a moment to reflect on why they are coming up and gently tell them ‘i’ve got this’

xo nicki

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Today…

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It’s been a few years nows since I have embraced the thought that “this is my life and I am responsible for everything going on in it right now” – this isn’t to say that there isn’t a larger power at hand, because I truthfully do believe there is and that power is infinitely wiser and more forgiving than I am; however I have spent a good part of the last 18 months surrendering to the fact that my fear has led me down some pretty gnarly roads and I have fully allowed it, in fact embraced it.

It’s sometimes hard to look in the mirror and know that your decisions have made you arrive at the destination of today but I instead choose to use it as motivation ~ motivation to know that in this moment, I have the power to change any of it, I have the power to grow, to choose love, to start over, to forgive, to embrace this moment and make my life better than the past would have allowed. Today is the gift and regardless of where you came from, whatever story you may be telling yourself – today, you have the power to change, to take responsibility and do better.

xo nicki

Where the Truth Lies

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On this rainy Saturday morning as the craziness of our weekend is about to begin I realize that I have found where my truth lies and it literally could bring me to tears to know that after 29 years, 2 months and 22 days I am finally home, nestled in close to exactly what my truth is. Like the sun coming over the mountains in the morning, that shining light within me is burning brilliantly clear, uncompromised by fear, still, beautiful. Although I believe that life is a journey not a destination, today on this morning, I see all the beauty that I have been working so diligently on uncovering for the past 18months.

And now the real work begins ~ going out into this world every day and staying present to the truth, remaining connected, being aware and continuing to seek out the love in every moment.

So my question to you is have you found where your truth lies?

Maybe you think its just a little to woo-woo? or just a lot of work? or maybe you’re afraid. The beautiful thing is that your truth is going to look different that mine – that your journey home is going to be entirely different, your demons are only yours, you truth only yours – but as I sit here in this place, a place of unwavering love for who I am, acceptance, peace and total surrender to the life I was born to lead, I say seek; seek out what your truth is and feel what love truly is.

xo nicki

Recharged and very READY!

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WOW – I can’t begin to tell you how enlightening the past month has been for me. For those of you who joined me on my “Inner Rockstar” month, thank you, just by signing up you gave me the gift of accountability which forced me to be beyond honest with myself in so many aspects of my life. But now I am feeling recharged, grounded, aware and totally ready.

Back at the beginning of 2011, I decided to choose a word that reflected how I wanted to live this year, instead of just a list of resolutions. My word for 2011 is COMMITTED and I am about to take it up a notch. Fear has been popping up left, right and centre for me, being bossy and cutting me down but I now have the tools to tell my fear that we are going to be ok, we are going to commit to our dreams, and together we are going to make it happen.

Last Monday with my sister-in-law, we excitedly launched a new website called Sparkled Life, which is a big piece of my authentic puzzle and my creative outlet. However with the anticipation of that site going ‘live’ I realized a drive to breathe more fresh air into Daring to Live which is vitally important to my emotional connection to myself and every woman who wants to join me. I am committed to creating a community of women who want to better their lives, live their best, be who they truly are and embrace their fears. I am committed to bringing your Inner Rockstar out in FULL force!

So expect over the next couple of months to see some BIG changes to ‘Daring to Live’ and get ready to get off the sidelines and hop in the game ~ this is your life and you only got one of them BABY, let’s make every.single.day.count.

Hugs and huge love to each of you,

nicki xo

Open the floodgates…

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I have been reading a lot lately and every time I read a new book, blog post or message, I look for the items that continue to pop out at me – I think that is the message I am meant to take away with me. For the last week that message has been loud and very very clear…. FORGIVE.

I am not a person who has collected enemies or childhood resentments, however practising forgiveness is exactly that – a practice, and for me now a daily one. It could be the man who cut you off on your way to work, the little old lady in front of you in the grocery line who is taking forever, the father that you felt abandoned you, the friend who betrayed your trust or it could be you. I have been focused on forgiving myself – for not being exactly where I thought I would, for letting my weight get to the point it has, for allowing my negative thoughts surrounding my accident consume me for over a year, for feeling guilty about needing time for myself when I have a husband and child who I could be spending time with, for allowing my paycheque and position to dictate my self worth… the list is long and the criticisms constant but today I am choosing forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is the key to freedom – beautiful, life altering freedom. When you hold on to something that has upset you or hurt you or a your own negative self talk, you feel it in every muscle and bone in your body. Just take a minute to think about someone or something that upset you over the past couple of days, you can feel your body harden, your forehead becomes hard and quite frankly you just feel icky.

Forgiveness is a step to change and although sometimes life doesn’t seem fair, holding on is allowing those people or situations to control the rest of your life. So if you are holding onto a grudge or find yourself easily irritated by people – take a moment to stop, forgive and release. The key to your own happiness lies in opening the flood gates of forgiveness.

xo nicki

29 years of life…

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Well today marks the date of my 29th birthday and I feel blessed. Every year at the time of my birthday I embark on a journey inwards to check in with myself – trudge through the waters, dig a little deeper and climb a little closer. Thinking that this is the last year in my 20’s has shifted something miraculous within me- giving me an opportunity to reflect on this decade and what it has brought to my life, how my experiences have moulded me to be the person I am at this very moment.

I wish I could have spoken to my younger self at 21 and shared with her all the things I have learnt along the way – that boys and bodies don’t matter if you aren’t being true to yourself. That you can’t find happiness, true happiness, looking for someone else to fulfil that within you – it has to radiate from your beautiful heart.

I am a big fan of living life and although I feel that part of my 20’s I desperately looked for accolades and approval from everyone but myself, I have had an amazing blessed life. I have an amazing family, beautiful friends, an unbelievable husband, a breathtaking child; but now most importantly I have me, the real me, the me that dances in the sun.

So as I embark on my 29th year, I feel fulfilled beyond measure, secure in my strengths, embracing my flaws and ready to keep on shining.

xo nicki

Putting up walls where there should only be windows…

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I am starting to notice a reoccurring trend – whenever I get a moment of inspiration, get on a roll, or get overly excited about a new idea, only moments later, I seem to stop in my tracks and the inspiration fizzles. It is something that has been niggling at me for the past few months and I couldn’t seem to figure out why – that was until I couldn’t sleep last night and it hit me… I have a massive, paralyzing fear of failing.

I mean it is so obvious that I am sure most people looking in would see but for some reason I have kept it harboured in my subconscious until last night and it all seemed to come into complete focus with resounding clarity.

I have suffered from a fear of failing my whole entire life – propelled by the need to feel successful according to everyone else’s standards, comparing myself to my successful ‘friends’ (yep even the Facebook  and twitter ones) and constantly feeling the fear that perhaps there is a chance that this business (that I) will FAIL.

Just saying it out loud scares me – I mean who fails in life? And then I take a moment, calm the panic inside and breath. Who doesn’t fail? Don’t get me wrong, I  fail every day and always beat myself up about it- but overall I strive to succeed in a completely overachieving unhealthy way. I have built up a massive wall around myself because of this and it’s totally ridiculous now that it is so clear.

So now I am in the process of starting to put up windows where those walls existed and begin to surrender this fear, let it go completely and know that miracles large and small will now have a means in which to enter.

xo nicki