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Tag Archives: life coach

Turning off the chatter….

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Good morning my gorgeous sisters. I am a week and a day away from launching my new site (fingers crossed) and I could not be more ….. afraid. Oh those nasty self criticizing voices in my head have again kicked it up a notch to tell me that this, everything I am sharing, starting this business is well…ridiculous. That I am going to go out there exposed and raw and everyone is going to laugh at me. And well because I know when feelings like this come up – stop, feel them, question them and then create a new story. Here is an excerpt from my journal that I wrote late last week

August 24, 2011
” I can feel this whirlwind within my right now. The questions, the hesitations – they keep floating around the walls of my tummy like a red fiery ball of flames ‘can I actually do this?’, ‘will anyone actually take me seriously?’ ‘will they think I am a fraud?’ now I know this feeling, I know how to extinguish the ball of flames, I know the truth. but regardless as each new day approaches, I seem to feel more & more uneasy – the fear keeps screaming ‘don’t do it – do not be vulnerable – they are going to reject you’. There are a million reasons why I don’t think I can do this and just one reason why I believe I can. I just need to stay connected to that one reason because that reason is and always be ‘my truth’, not anyone elses truth, just mine, my gift. I have spent the last ‘too many years’ listening to the million reasons and ignoring the one, but no longer. I am acting anyways & this feeling many not get any better but that won’t slow me down ~ it won’t stop me from moving forward because this is my calling – to go out into this world to be a mentor, to be a teacher, to write, to speak – to be the change and to do it in a HUGE way” 

So fear is rearing its ugly head yet again but regardless I know that pushing through that fear, doing what I am most vulnerable to do…. is where the magic lives. And I will never be able to conquer anything unless I can learn to live with that feeling – be comfortable with being uncomfortable, spread your wings and jump anyways.

xo nicki

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one whole year…..

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WOW- I can’t believe that is has been one whole year since I first told my fear to take a hike as I pressed that ‘publish’ button for the very first time. I will never forget how freeing (and terrifying) that moment truly was as I put out into the world all of my hopes and dreams, ready for the taking.

I wish I could have bottled that moment in time and use it boldly when I am stuck in the ‘i am not really sure what to do’ outhouse of my own worst enemy: my own mind.

This past year I have grown leaps and bounds, I have grown wings and learnt how to fly, I have let me heart (not my head) guide me to inner peace, to freedom and let me tell you…. it is heaven. 

One year ago, I made the decision to follow my truth down a path I had no idea where it was going to lead too, with no idea of the possibilities, with no idea of the beauty I was entering in to.

As I sit here and revel in the amazement this past year has brought me, the doors that simply by surrendering have opened, a life I never thought possible… I ask… what is the day that you will look back on and know you accepted the dare to live your most beautiful life?

 

xo nicki

 

Gettin out of that FUNK

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OK I am going to let you in on a little secret – sometimes my life isn’t all liquorice and lollipops and occasionally sh%t hits the fan. I had one of those days yesterday where I was just off. I couldn’t seem to shake it (yes I tried) off. No amount of affirmations, positive thoughts or meditation could get it off me. It was just there, like a green slimy sludge, and it was growing as the day went on. It was this uncomfortable anxious whirlwind circling around me – it was my ego telling me that I finally am getting the message “this is all just make believe and it is never going to happen” and so after countless hours of fighting the feeling and trying to remove it, I took a deep breath and realized I needed to surrender and embrace it.

Yes embrace it – fear was ruling me yesterday and most likely it was coming up because I had such a powerful day on Monday. My red hazard lights were going off like there was going to be a nuclear meltdown. So I decided instead to have a little chat with myself – a pep talk to my fear and it went a little something like this ” sister, I know you are scared sh&tless of what you are creating in your life right now, it takes courage to own your truth and build a life around it but its ok, we are going to be ok, in fact we are going to be amazing. I know you are just watching out for me and I am so grateful but we can’t stay small anymore, we are planting big seeds right now, seeds that are going to grow beyond our wildest dreams, so please don’t try to get in my way, please let me spread my wings a little bigger each and every day”

We are all going to have those days when you just feel off, you feel overwhelmed, you feel stretched, you question what is going on with your life and you just feel flat out funky.  Well not to worry or give up faith, just embrace those feelings of muckyness and get on with it. Allow yourself a moment to reflect on why they are coming up and gently tell them ‘i’ve got this’

xo nicki

Simon Says…..

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Do you remember when you were a kid – I would spend countless hours playing Simon Says…. determined to not be the one who would go outside of what was asked of me. Lately as I have pushed the envelope of my hearts desires, stared my fear down and got cozy with the woman I truly am… I am beginning to realize that The Big Book of Life is just another game of Simon says….

Simon says – graduate
Simon says – go to college
Simon says – get a decent job with benefits and a great RRSP matching program
Simon says – buy a house
Simon says – get married
Simon says – have children
Simon says – your dreams should only ever be hobbies

Well I am here to say to Simon – tough sh*t…. I think I’ll sit this one out. And even though I haven’t always followed Simon’s rules, I become victim to being a victim to feeling that my dreams are really more of a hobby than a sustainable life path. And so here I am laying some new ground rules

I say – color outside the lines
I say – live with your heart wide open
I say – do what sets your soul on fire
I say – don’t do something because every one else is
I say – question why you are here
I say – realize your purpose
I say – always listen to that beautiful authentic voice inside of you (she is always right)
I say – trust the journey
I say – be present

And as I walk through this life, I know that simply changing my perspective, wearing my rose-colored glasses and being open to love – my dreams will meerly be the diving board for a life that is greater beyond my wildest dreams.

xo nicki

Letting go of expectations

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I truly believe that expectations are as poisonous to us as our negative self talk. To be honest, expectations is something I struggle with myself – not only the expectations I set for myself but the ones I set for those around me. I am a goal junkie, in fact, without a list to accomplish I am completely lost; but expectations and goals are two very different actions.

I try to face every day with a clean slate, wake up with a smile on my face and go out into the world with my head held high and my heart open wide but I always find as the minutes pass by, these expectations of what I should be accomplishing start to weasel their way into my mind. Call me a overachiever, a perfectionist – these words just seem to always push my expectations of myself and what I can accomplish even higher.

But at some point there is always a disconnect between being a productive human being and just beating yourself up – I walk that fine line every day with some days turning out better than others; but I am trying to simply accept that as long as I have tried my hardest, put forth my personal best, that is more than even I can ask for.

And although I know that Rome wasn’t built-in 1 day it’s all about finding the balance of accomplishing all the amazing things I see in my future without the constant loom of ‘what I should have accomplished’ hanging over my head, instead it really is a process of acceptance.

xo nicki